It's gettin' hot in here!

Okay, so that headline was too easy...sorry. Anyway, wanted to share with y'all Daily Candy's latest Lexicon XV (like the bar in Portland that everyone calls "15" but Selena and I call "X-V"!). It's about the summer heat, and since they put it in their "Everywhere" edition, I guess it's about heat all over the country, but trust me, these funny-ass made-up words are really truly applicable to the the nasty, muggy, dirty, did I say nasty yet? HEAT in New York City. It's hot in Portland right now, which means the sun is shining and that makes me happy, but when it's hot in New York, it is miserable - especially on the subway platforms. I'm feeling faint just thinking about it. Enough of my complaints - Daily Candy is much funnier at portraying the misery:

Lexicon XV
summertime! Summertime, and the lingo is easy.

a.c. pee
n. The nasty drip from an air conditioning unit. Also known as "liquid garbage."

condenversation
n. The exchange of sweat by people in close quarters (i.e., dance floors, cramped elevators). See also: filmic moment.

despair conditioning
n. An unexpected waft of cool air (e.g., from a passing bus) that is at once disgusting and welcome in 90-degree heat.

filmic moment
n. A glistening sheen of sweat on your body or your belongings, and the realization that the sweat may not be your own. (That messenger and I shared a nasty but hot filmic moment in the lobby.)

glute glue
n. The cohesive agent that develops on the backs of thighs in July, forcing one to peel them off park benches, car seats, or bar stools.

little white line
n. The thong outline seen on girls wearing the wrong white pants. (Does that skank with the little white line not check her reflection before going out?)

pit-fall
n. 1. The unavoidable underarm stains one gets from wearing tight, nonbreathable tees. 2. One's inability to avoid wearing tight, nonbreathable tees.

shamtonite
n. Summer house freeloader. (Chad is such a shamtonite. He's been hanging out in Bridgehampton for the past three weekends and he doesn't even rent.)

skimplify
v. To reduce the amount of cloth used to cover the body. (Summer's here. Time to skimplify the wardrobe.)