A Veritable Cornucopia of Fun

Unemployment. Recession. Inevitable depression. Every morning I wake up with a heavy pit of anxiety, self-doubt, fear-that-my-life-won't-get-back-on-track in my stomach. It feels all-consuming and makes me resist fully waking up to face a day filled with such uncertainty. The irony, of course, is that laying there and stewing in it just gives it more power. Once I get moving, take a shower, put some effort into what I wear, and step out into the fresh air, some hope returns. And if yesterday was any indication, in a city like this, there's a story around every corner.

First, we made a beeline for the Museum of Sex (Tyler was adamant about this, and Karen and Laura both said it was worth a trip), where the featured exhibit currently examines the sex lives of animals. No holds barred. I'd rather this blog not show up in unsavory Google search results, so I won't go into details – except to say blowholes, G-G rubbing, and diddling. Now go satisfy your curiosity over at Wired. Upstairs, another rotating exhibit explored the evolution of porn; I'm not prude, but watching such explicit scenes with a bunch of strangers was, well, a bit strange. And proving that there can be too much of a good thing, we didn't even walk through the whole thing because the videos just got boring. Finally, the third floor housed the permanent collection of antique vibrators, archaic sex education books (my favorites below), erotic art from various cultures, extreme bondage gear, RealDolls a la Lars and The Real Girl, and sex machines, which I had seen photos of at Powell's a few years ago.



Midway through, around the art and before the RealDolls you could, ahem, explore, some dude started to linger too long and try to strike up a conversation with me. Picking up women at the sex museum – ballsy, but not gonna work with me, buddy. Overall, it was an eye-opening experience...I think our culture would be a whole lot happier if it was as honest and educated about sex as the museum. Worth the $15.

Our curiosities fully sated, we needed to indulge our consumer whores and headed to SoHo. Melissa loves Mango; there, I was tempted to buy a clearance coat, but decided it wasn't warm enough to warrant the expense. Over at H&M, we were welcomed with a 20% off coupon, which was all the permission I needed to buy something. My weakness. But Mom would have been proud that I also bought only sale items. My frugality was rewarded by walking by Miss J from America's Next Top Model (not really a fan of the show or the androgynous runway coach, but it was my first celeb sighting, so yay!). And then, boom, on the other end of the spectrum, some Canadian tuxedo-clad guy stopped us, "Got a quarter?" Immediately followed by, "Right up the ass." I was too overcome by laughter to dig for spare change before he had moved on to a new target.

We ended up at The Magician to meet Kim for happy hour. Happy, indeed – a well drink and house red for $5! if we didn't have to get to bowling by 8, that bar would have been my downfall. Luckily, Kim dragged us out into a van cab (not Cash Cab, dammit!) to get to The Gutter in Williamsburg, where we met her friends, some of the staff behind College Humor. This maybe could be considered by second celeb sighting since the guys (and one girl, Sarah) star in the new College Humor Show on MTV. They make money just being their funny selves, lucky bastards. Aaaaaand, The Gutter was the setting for the Flight of the Conchords new song, "Friends," from the last episode. Hearing that, I was downright giddy (the two glasses of wine I downed at The Magician probably helped)!

What the drinks didn't help: my bowling performance. 60. Seriously? Such a sad showing. So I drowned my sorrows in a red velvet cupcake at Enid's, then a Rogue Stout (yay, Oregon!) at Bar Matchless. The bars were more crowded, but stocked with the bearded, skinny jeans, hipster crowd I know so well. If beers weren't six bucks, we could have been in Portland. Even the Camel guy, who gives you free cigarettes in Portland, came around, but could only give out free Zippos since free smokes are apparently against the law in New Yawk. Probably for the best. I still signed up for the lighter, though, and when the guy looked at my license he exclaimed, "Portland – that's pretty much heaven, right?" Sigh....you may be right, Camel guy. I'm still trying to figure it out.

Maybe today's walk across the Brooklyn Bridge will help. Valentine's Day parties tonight. I hope everyone feels some love today!