Good Morning, New York!

Ok, so it's hardly morning anymore. I meant to write this when I woke up bright and early, ready to take on the day, when the sun shone through the windows and I breathed a sigh of relief that it was going to be near 60 degrees today – hardly the frigid wasteland I'd been warned about. I did, in fact, wake up early, but on principle I just couldn't make myself get out of bed (or off the couch) – it was 6am in Portland. Nuh-uh. That's obscene.

Almost eight hours later, I'm sitting in the Hearst building's gorgeous atrium cafeteria (soon to be seen in Confessions of a Shopaholic - barf). Kristen is upstairs, stressing about her work at Delish.com. What I wouldn't give for some work stress. It felt so good to sit in an office, like I had a purpose again. I know I praised being free from the cubicle farm a few weeks ago, but these aren't cubes...they're airy desks, stocked with new Mac technology. There were cupcakes to be had. All in all, not a bad place to come to work.

Last night, I got re-broken-in to New York as we drove through Queens and East New York from JFK into Brooklyn. Kristen lives in Crown Heights, in an adorable studio that she has painted my favorite shade of brown. I felt like I was at home sinking my toes into same the white shag rug we both bought at IKEA. The anxiety I had been fighting off all day seemed to melt away, like it always does at night, and I eagerly anticipated my first day in the city.

This morning, however, the angst returned. Kristen gave me door-to-door directions from her apartment to her office, and I still felt overwhelmed at the prospect of heading in to Manhattan. I am overwhelmed at the idea of the job I'm interviewing for tomorrow – do I really want the burden of creating a site's editorial strategy from scratch again? And I couldn't figure out what to wear!

Keep it simple, I told myself. One step at a time. Skinny jeans, black-and-white striped sweater, and the Jimmy Choo heels I found for $60 at Last Chance in Phoenix. At least I can pretend to be sophisticated (I don't think anyone saw me just eat that Lunchable in this multi-million dollar cafeteria). Just walk out the door, get on the train. And the minute I descended into the subway, that smell, not bad, not good, but the industry and humanity of the city, I felt happy. That brought me back to all the carefree wonder and possibility of the summer of 2003. I need to try to look at these two weeks the same way. Anything can happen – and whatever that is, it will be the right thing for me.

I'm off now to meet Mari at her office by the MoMA. I need to write three sample blogs tonight to be considered for Glamour's new "I'm in a financial pickle" blog. At least that's what I've been calling it. I have plenty of fodder for that! And then I'm going to paint my nails and watch Top Chef with Kristen and try to savor each and every moment, not worried about what comes next.

Tomorrow: lunch with Mari, job interview at 3pm at Fetch (yes, a doggy-themed restaurant for a pet website interview), and picking up Melissa at Penn Station, who is going to be my Valentine. That's when the adventures will start.

I miss Portland. I can forget that when I'm caught up in the sea of people on the sidewalk or on the subway. I've always loved being in transit. But sitting still... This morning, I woke up and thought for a minute, looking out the window, I could be in my living room, hearing the traffic on Belmont. I just want brown walls like Kristen's.