I Love Musicians

I had a mini-panic attack over the weekend about moving; I let my neuroses get the better of me (unfortunately not a rare occurrence) and started freaking out that I won't have enough money, won't find a job, won't find a place to live, won't have the moxie to make it in New York. That combined with some nostalgia about Portland made me wonder if I've really made the right decision.

Then a few musicians stepped in to remind me why it's worth the risk.

First, My Morning Jacket's Jim James told New York Magazine why he moved to NYC from Louisville:

"I wanted to find different ways to see the world, and reinvent myself, and try to wipe the slate clean. The pace is a little slower back home. I love the unpredictability of the city. I feel like I'm playing some crazy game here – like I'm Pac-Man or something. Even when I'm sleeping I'm there playing the game. Somehow I'm not my normal self. Yet maybe I'm more my normal self than I was before?"

And here I thought he was just an epic guitar player (see Kristen's pics from their Edgefield show in September). Turns out he has also perfectly expressed why I want – need – to move. I love Portland. And watching it grow and change over these eight years has been amazing. But now it's time for me to grow and change. To get out of my comfort zone (and let's face it, Portland is almost too comfortable!), to build a new life as an adult, to see who I am in a new environment, faced with new challenges and new adventures. It's the classic twenty-something manifesto, I know. Thing is, I have never felt more myself than I did in New York during the ASME internship summer of 2003. I showed up all alone and made some of the best friends of my life. I found a place for my spastic (and yes, neurotic) energy amidst the buzz of the city. I'm more than ready to be back. Jim James calls it Pac-Man; George Costanza played Frogger in the streets. I think my game will be more like Tetris, fitting the angular, mismatched pieces of myself together in the nooks and crannies of the city.

And second, the next night, I hung out with my ex, now friend, Mike (Johnson - Reclinerland and Parks & Recreation). He, too, is feeling restless in Portland, so we had lots to talk about. [Side note: He's always wanted to live in London, and I got him M. Sasek's classic children's book This is London when we were dating. This time, two years later, he brought me This is New York. Is he not the best ex-boyfriend ever?] Long story short, he recorded a cover of The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York" with Grey Anne. I know, the lyrics are pretty depressing (broken hearts, addiction), but the name and the one line ("I can see a better time / When all our dreams come true") make it my new theme song. Listen to their darling rendition here.

[One more tangent: Got a better theme song idea for this PONY stage of my life? I'd love to hear it! I'm terrible at remembering songs off the top of my head. During my radio stint last Friday, there was a segment on the best movie montage songs of all time. I would really love to see this time of my life as a movie montage. And I need a song!]