Split Personality

Here I am, the last day of February, back in Portland. It feels good to be surrounded by my stuff (even though I desperately need to purge) and cuddle with my cat. I am dying to see my friends and catch-up. There are three concerts I would love to go to in the next week, new restaurants that opened in the past two weeks, and no sales tax. It's good!

I wanted to go to Bunk Sandwiches for lunch today. Maybe because the last time I went, I was reminded of New York thanks to the Woody Allen shrine by the cash register and the stray copies of the Times to read while waiting for hoagies with hot peppers:





Too bad it was closed by the time I got my act together to head outside. My last couple days in New York were all about finding delicious and cheap lunch. Porchetta was my first stop on Wednesday. With just a tiny counter and a few bar seats in the window, the East Village spot reminded me of Bunk or Pine State, tiny and relatively new Portland outposts of one kind of food (sandwiches and biscuits, respectively) done really well. Porchetta, if you don't speak Italian, does pork. And nothing but pork.



You can get the delicious stuff in a sandwich (just bread and meat) or on a plate with beans and greens. Simple, tasty, and wow, filling – I think I could only now eat more pork after wolfing down that sandwich three days ago.



I think the bacon/ham/pork trend is reaching its saturation point in the foodie world (though it probably has at least six more months to hit backlash in Portland), but I will always be a fan. It is just soooo good!

The rest of Wednesday: My first time in Queens to visit my friend Emily's place. I only saw two blocks, seemed like any other borough at night. I made Emily try an Oregon Pinot noir even though she hates red – I didn't convert her, but she didn't gag either! – and we ate pizza and watched American Idol. He's kind of a hack, but I love the holographic-shirt-and-sweatband-wearing "Norman Gentle," aka Nick Mitchell, for not taking the ridiculous show so seriously – he's wacky and campy and spazzy, oh my! Last stop: Stanton Public to meet Kristen at her co-worker Matt's going away party. He's moving to Boston to take a "creative breather," he told me. Another one of his friends lit up when I said I was from Portland: "I want to move there!" Kristen is planning to move to San Francisco. Am I nuts for wanting to move to New York?

I love how in the largest city in the country, you still find yourself orbiting the same small worlds. I was in SoHo nearly every day of my trip, always for completely different, random reasons. I must have walked by the corner of Prince and Elizabeth Streets close to ten times, always curious about the diner-looking Cafe Habana. A fan of Cuban food ever since I discovered the sorely-missed (in my opinion) Canita (sister of Pambiche), I knew I must have been drawn there for a reason and went back with a purpose on Thursday. Yum! The mole burrito was good enough, but the roasted corn on the cob – ahhhh-mazing! Probably because it was coated in butter and queso fresco. I could eat it every day – and I just might if I keep ending up in SoHo.

Another afternoon of working in my "office" (aka, the library), and then happy hour with Kristen and her work friends at Valhalla. I love that word; vikings or whatever nonsense, I just love the way it sounds. Tons of craft beers, kind of reminded me of all the taps at Bailey's Taproom. I chose hard cider. Such a girl. Kim and Robin and I later headed to the College Humor Live show at the Upright Citizens Brigade. So many barely 21-ers there! I felt old. The guys were funny, the guest comedians – including SNL writer John Mulaney – wunderkinds with so much talent. I'm no stand-up, but it made me want to put more creativity out there.

My last day consisted of lots of wandering, maybe just trying to soak it all up and bring some back to Portland with me. Lunch was a classic street vendor hot dog – my favorite NYC hangover cure from years past. I'll probably never outgrow that. I had come to feel like I really was living there, had settled in to a bit of a routine. My friends kept forgetting I was leaving. I didn't feel like I was really leaving until the plane finally took off. With a non-stop flight, I was back in Portland so quickly, plopped back into my life. But it feels different, I feel different.

I miss New York. I don't want to sound like an inconsistent ninny who doesn't know what she wants, when I was just rambling two weeks ago about how much I missed Portland... but maybe I am. Or maybe it's impossible to ever definitively choose between the two. On my last day in New York, walking through a brown and gray Central Park, my mom left a voicemail and told me to have a good flight back to Portland, which she said she wouldn't call my "home" anymore since I should start thinking of New York as home. And that's partly true – reinvigorated to make the move despite any fear, I'm beginning the process of mentally "moving" as well. But Portland will always feel like home. New York is part of a journey that I know will lead me back here, a quest to find myself in new and challenging surroundings, to prove I can make my life whatever I dream it to be. (Thanks, Thoreau: "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you you have imagined.") But considering how proud I felt every time I told someone, "I'm from Portland," I'm pretty sure I'll be leaving my heart right here in the west.

They Always Go There on Cash Cab

That would be McSorley's, which I finally made it to tonight. Supposedly New York's oldest Irish tavern, dating to 1854 – and a prime spot to mingle with suits, Euro tourists, and packs of dudes. Many cabs pulled up while Mari and I sat by the window, proving that it's quite the destination, but none with Ben Bailey or passengers waving newly-won cash. I swear, I have to move to New York just to satisfy by burning desire to get on Cash Cab.

Mari and I first got dinner at MAX, a spot chosen to satisfy my pasta craving and to put us in the McSorley's vicinity (I've been getting daily texts from my friend Tyler telling me to go or I'd be disowned). Turns out the tiny space, oil-cloth tablecloths, and two-seater bar reminded me of my favorite Portland spot, The Italian Joint. Sad, because that restaurant – where you could get bread, salad (with the BEST raspberry vinaigrette) and a pasta fit for two for under $10, plus a giant carafe of house red for $11 – is closed, so yesterday's rumors go. Fucking economy. This was, of course, not so cheap, but the smoked mozzarella and asparagus ravioli was delicious. I'll eat anything smoked or pickled – those carcinogens are just too tasty to resist!

I arrived at 7:40 for dinner, and we were the only ones in the place; by the time we left an hour later, it was packed. I noticed the same timeline at Union Hall last week – at 7:15, I had my pick of most every seat, but by 8:30, I was crowded around by big groups – and told Kristen about how those big "happy hour" groups start convening as early as 5 and reach their peak around 6 in Portland. She was shocked. No one leaves work that early in New York. The later schedule works with my nocturnal tendencies, but still, I want happy hour at the usual time! Now that I think about it, I haven't noticed a single happy hour menu this entire time – uh oh.

Beers are cheap at McSorley's, though – $4.50 for two, albeit half pints. Saunter up the bar and choose between light and dark ales, that's all they got. We double-fisted it and found a prime table in the window, surrounded by old photos and memorabilia, none of which has been removed since 1910. I'm a sucker for history like that. One beer in, we noticed this mug on the table:



Root beer float? That was my first thought, but no. We decided it was the discarded foam from all the beers – not poured with the greatest care, at least a third of the mug was foam, so people must dump it off to get the goods stuff faster, we figured. Silly girls. Turns out it was spicy-ass mustard, to be used on the famous McSorley's Cheese Plate: saltines, white American cheese, and raw onions.



A generous pair of gentlemen not only informed us what exactly what is in that mug, but shared the gourmet treat with us. We each tried one. That was enough. Then we pondered why Mari thinks people in New York are nicer than people in San Francisco – maybe the more traditional East coast manners? And I wondered if the fact that Mari and I are both not the girliest girls has something to do with us growing up in California – not wanting to be considered ditzy valley girls, we avoided overly feminine stuff the older we got. These seemed like very poignant observations at the time, but maybe that ale was just really strong. All I know is that I want to go out on a limb and wear a skirt tomorrow.

Winsome Whirlwind Weekend Wrap-Up

WARNING: This is gonna be a long one. I promise it'll be worth it. But also feel free to skim for only the scandalous parts.

I'm not sure exactly what's happened over the past four or five days, but I'm finding myself more and more hooked on this city. I feel at home again. It's energy and confidence and creativity that I haven't felt in a long time. It's hard – it's cold and my coats aren't thick enough, I pack my "office" and lug around a leaden bag all day, I don't know the most efficient trains and end up zigzagging all over Manhattan and Brooklyn, walking in circles and generally taking longer to get anywhere than I probably should. But the more I push myself, the better I feel. And the more assured I get to go further, and the more inspired I am to follow through on new ideas. And I'm just having fun, plain and simple. Portland is an amazing place to make a life, but I almost feel like it's time for me to earn it. I have to go away and stretch myself to really be content. I have to throw myself in the ocean and prove I can swim – and remember that even though it's effort, I have fun doing it; then the daiquiri on the beach will be that much more rewarding!

Enough introspection, let's rewind and recount the weekend...

Thursday, February 19
If you recall, Thursday was to be quite a busy day for me. Lesson learned: don't jinx it by blogging about the schedule the night before. I showed up at NYU and no one knew I was coming, nor did they know where the person was I was supposed to meet. Forty-five minutes later, I finally found someone who told me she had called in sick. Nice. I will never call in sick to work again.

Well, time for lunch then...headed up to Madison Square Park for some infamous Shake Shack. If I remember correctly, they opened soon after my ASME summer, and everyone was talking about the burgers, the fries, the frozen custards – serious cult following led to impossible lines. Now there are three locations, but it's still a popular lunch spot – the line took close to thirty minutes! And was it worth it? Eh, not really. The burger was fine, but kind of bland and soggy compared to In 'N Out; the fries were perfectly crisp, but the crinkle cut reminded me of the frozen ones you make at home; and the frozen custard chocolate shake...ick. Too nutty, or bitter, or something for my taste, and not nearly sweet enough. Maybe I'm too used to artificial flavor, but I kind of cringed every time I took a sip. The fauna were 'uuuge fans, though; birds sat right next to me and aggressive city squirrels nearly nabbed a fry when I wasn't looking! The pictures are hilarious, but I have to wait 'til I get home to the download cord to share them. Booooo.

Next up, my inaugural visit to the New York Public Library, which you may know as the refuge for freezing New Yorkers in the brilliant The Day After Tomorrow (can't help it, I love disaster movies!). It was slightly less desolate and a tad bit more warm and inviting, thankfully. It is, without a doubt, my new "office." Sitting in the periodical room, surrounded by murals of the great publishing buildings of the past, who wouldn't be inspired to genius?? Ok, I'll settle for productivity, and it worked wonders. I'm going back tomorrow.

I continued on the unfamiliar motivated-to-try-new-things path by going to a free pilates class that Melissa had looked into while she was visiting. I know, you're shocked! It turned out to be a very intensive bodywork class, less aerobic workout, less full-body yoga stretching, and more specific isolated muscle exercises. There may be nothing I hate more than not knowing what I'm doing (hence sticking with the familiar), and fitness has always been foreign to me. It makes me feel stupid, so I avoid it. Throughout the hour, though, even more than being reminded how out of shape I am (no news to me!), I realized just how much I don't pay attention to the individual parts of my body, how they move and interact in everyday motions, and how I can better take care of them. If/when I live here, I need to make this a regular thing. Any Brooklynites reading this, check out Ophra (that's oh-fra, not the other one) at Force and Flow. Seriously.

Resigned to a lazy night at "home," I hit a few bodegas for some food (this shopping-as-you-need-it thing is also hard to get used to) before Kristen invited me to meet up with her and Robin in Park Slope. Excellent, hot food! The problem is that the Atlantic stop on the subway is attached to Target, and I couldn't resist. If only I knew exercise as well as I know shopping! A few necessities later (and I promise, truly, only necessities, and travel sizes at that), I made it to Alchemy, my favorite kind of dense and dark wooded tavern/restaurant, where I wolfed down a veggie burger (with havarti cheese!) and traded dating advice. I am so out of practice!

Home to Lost catch-up and a bit of PONY news from home: Arthur Gregg Sulzberger, the heir-apparent to The New York Times, who had been a county court reporter at the Oregonian, is now at the city desk of the Times. It was expected that he'd end up back east, of course, just glad to add him to the PONY people list. Think we could swap stories? Ha.

Friday, February 20
I had scheduled lunch with Marlene, the Executive Director of ASME, but this time I had to reschedule because of another PawLinks conversation/interview (more on that later). I was able to make a later lunch with Meredith, another fellow ASME intern, at Spring Street Natural, where I had another veggie burger. The perfect food, I swear!

From there I wandered SoHo, got a wedding gift for PJ (another intern, shower on Saturday), and made my way to the Housing Works Bookstore, which Six-Word Memoirs Rachel recommended – she does work there, after all. I could have spent all day there, like the library – looking at room, I suppose it's no surprise I like to be surrounded by books. Unfortunately for my suitcase, I also can't resist buying books, especially vintage ones. This time, I picked up a 1951 review copy of Exploring the Child's World, a collection of insights and advice from a woman who interviewed kids and, unlike many during that time, listened to them as complete human beings with valid ideas, emotions and concerns. So much common sense now, but apparently groundbreaking at the time. It's fascinating to me to see how expert thinking and recommendations change so drastically with the times.

Cool book, but no place to sit and plug in the ancient laptop, so I just left early to stake our window seat at The Magician – same bar as last Friday with the awesomely cheap happy hour. Emily, one of my roommates from the ASME summer, showed up first, so we got to catch up, then Robin, Kim and Kristen (the trio of Brooklyn-dwelling, Hearst-employed ladies, I should note) arrived, making it about half of the ASME crew. When Kim's friend, Adam, joined us, it turned into an evening of coin toss dares and ballpoint pen "tattoos" – I'm stilled faintly marked with the New York Times "T," a lightning bolt heart, and a pair of so-nerdy-they're-now-hipster-cool black glasses. (Adam, a digital artist/designer/tech communication grad student, had been to the Times Open, a day-conference about open source API, using the new public archive of Times articles dating to 1981, full of inimitably searchable and sortable data. Fittingly, the attendees got a Nerd Merit Badge (you can buy your own) bearing the paper's insignia, providing the inspiration for our ink. Long description, but it was all interesting to me – I am a nerd.)

Now, back to the party... Kim and Robin left to go to a show, Adam went to a birthday party, and Mari met up with us, leaving me with two of my best friends to hit the town. Oooooh-kay, yay! We went to Back Room, which serves drinks in teacups and has a speakeasy vibe with its hidden entrance. Yet another library-esque spot (this seems to be the theme) – the VIP room is hidden behind a bookcase. We would have stayed longer, but we needed food, so we hit up Schiller's Liquor Bar, also with a slight '20s style, this time in the form of a hall of mirrors. I ate yet another veggie burger and loved every bite. From there, Kristen went home, and Mari and I went to 205 to meet her friends Jamie and Wes. Nag champa, techno music, but free drinks thanks to their birthday-boy friend. Deal. And I had the hilarious "pleasure" of meeting Cliff III, who is in the shipping business in Singapore, a trade his family has apparently been in for over 200 years. He grew up quite rich in Manhattan and went to prep school in San Francisco and "summered" in Nantucket. He is the first person I've ever met that I think I can call "pedigreed." They really exist, it blew my mind!

I think it was nearing 4am when we finally went to sleep at Mari's. Phew!

Saturday, February 20
Late start, obviously. After looking at the bridal shower invite, I was relieved to see that jeans were acceptable attire. No time to get back to Brooklyn from the Upper East Side – especially with the party in midtown – so I wore my same outfit from the night before. Classy! PJ and Ryan have been dating since before our ASME summer and are getting married in March, and after watching them match nearly every answer on the homemade video Newlywed Game that her friends had organized, I'm more sure than ever they're perfect for each other. So we celebrated a lot, of course, with tons of food, wine, tea and cake. Stuffed.

Kristen and I headed back to her place to refresh for the bachelorette portion of the fun, that same night. I was amazed at the energy I had, considering the hangover that kept me in bed all morning (or maybe that was the trick!). We went to The Randolph, a cozy nightspot, for schmancy, expensive cocktails – I wanted to order PBR – and I managed to stay relatively clear of all the girlie screaming and shrieking. Lots of fun, but huge groups of girls aren't my favorite scene. I stuck with Emily, Meredith and Brooke most of the time, trying to take advantage of the time together. We capped the night with drunken (everyone else) dancing at Happy Ending. Although now that I think about it, I'm not sure anyone really danced because it was so wall-to-wall packed. All that matters is that PJ was drunk and having a blast and telling everyone how much she loves them. That's all you can ask from a bachelorette party, I suppose!

Sunday, February 22 - today!
I ventured out by myself today, which was nice. I'm more content to explore alone in New York than anywhere else. There's so much to see, so much to get done, it's easier to just stick with your own agenda sometimes. This time was a trek to the Brooklyn Flea, which is massive and massively cool in the summer, as I'm told, but smaller and indoors in the winter. Still, the vintage junkie in me had to check it out.

First off, DUMBO (Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass – basically Brooklyn, near the river, between the bridges) looks just like the Pearl. Warehouses turned into lofts, with walls of retail windows on the bottom. When I walked by West Elm, I seriously got confused about where I was. Second, the market was kind of disappointing. Kristen warned me, but I didn't think it would be that small. Probably under 20 vendors, a mix between clothes, jewelry, house decor, photos. I've spent more time and found so many more things I wanted to take home at HOUSE on Hawthorne; I think half my own house is decorated from that vintage warehouse. But still, I did manage to find another vintage book for my collection: Get Wise to Yourself! This one's a doozy, from 1928, full of ways to analyze your physical features and gestures as clues to your personality – it's become an exact science, they say! Does the ball of your foot hit the ground first when you walk? You're "administrative – suggesting the owner or magnate." Do you have large earlobes? Then you are "generous and benevolent." It gets so much better: forehead slopes, nose bulges, lip angles, chin shapes. Please, come over or send me photos so I can analyze you! As they say, "grasp courage by the forelock; sharpen your pencil; put your pride on the ice for a moment, and proceed to the charts with a heart for any fate."

New collection: vintage self-help books. Hilarious.

Quick dinner and margaritas with Kristen to honor National Margarita Day, then up to Mari's to watch the Oscars. We drank Prosecco and ate brownies shaped like train cars (Mari went to Williams-Sonoma today), and Mari and I tied with 16 out of 24 predictions spot on. That's a record for me. Now I'm watching The Soup and should really be asleep.

Oh wait, there's more? Just a few loose ends..... The job stuff. I've had a few more conversations with the business/marketing/strategy person and the product/user experience developer for PawLinks, and I think they've gone really well. The more I talk about it, the more ideas I have. Tomorrow I've got to finish up some research of their plans so far, plus analysis of a few competitors, then I'm talking with the founder again to share some ideas and nail down a plan/expectations for my proposal. I want to do this. But I also need to earn a living.

Last but sooooo not least, I haven't given up on the subway reading lists. I think they deserve their own blog, though, photos and all. It should debut tomorrow. Also, more cool links and information when I can finally catch up on my own web reading and searching. Thanks for reading my diary for now!

*What, you really thought I would post scandalous stuff for the whole world to read on the internet? You'll have to email me personally for that dirt!

Everyday New York City Rain

Another lazy day for Liz. But only because I was up nearly all night "working," so had to get my zzzzz's during the day today. After some email catchup and more lunch/happy hour scheduling, I finally headed out of the apartment around six – and wouldn't you know it, the rain finally found me! I had been so spoiled by the near constant sun over the past week that I forgot I even packed my galoshes. But after WAY too much time indoors over the past 36 hours, I was on a mission to explore the neighborhood and find myself a wifi coffee shop to do some more "work" – even if I was going to walk a mile in those $6 booties (I know, I can't get over the price either!). But that Brooklyn Industries puff coat....seriously, it's like walking around in your own dry and toasty cloud, completely sheltered from the elements. I am starting a savings fund for my very own. Ask your nearest bank how you can contribute to the Liz-Has-No-Body-Fat-So-Needs-A-Huge-Puff-Coat-To-Survive Foundation.

Anywhooo, comfortable bundled up, I walked by Grand Army Plaza, picture-perfect brownstones on Union Street, bike shops, yoga studios, and the packed Park Slope Food Coop. I realized that I hadn't seen a single Subaru since I've been in New York, and then on the very next block spotted two of them. They were from out of state, though (New Hampshire and New Mexico), so I still remained convinced that Subarus are decidedly part of only the Portland end of the PONY spectrum.

Kristen's recommended coffee shop, Tea Lounge, was overrun by the time I got there, so I ended up at Union Hall for a glass of wine with my laptop. I immediately declared it a new favorite, with vintage chairs and couches (think Kennedy School's movie theater), built-in bookshelves lining the walls, and indoor bocce ball. I also hear they host pretty good bands in the basement. Considering all that and it's in Park Slope, I was pleasantly surprised at the very low percentage of barf-y hipsters. I got lucky on this one!

More walking toward Smith Street in Cobble Hill followed, and a yummy dinner of Provencal beef stew with Kristen at Bar Tabac, a cooler, dimmer, cozier version of Portland's old Brasserie Montmartre. I've never been to Paris, but it felt so authentic to me I wanted a cigarette afterwards, and I haven't thought about one in weeks!

One stop at a newsstand for my daily Twix fix (instead of that smoke), one train ride during which I couldn't make out the titles of any of the books being read (bummer), and we were home to watch Top Chef and (hopefully!) go to bed at a decent hour.

Tomorrow's a busy one and I can't wait. First thing, I'm meeting with the admissions coordinator for NYU's Applied Psychology graduate program. What's that? I've never told you about my secret identity as an aspiring child psychologist? It's been brewing in me a long time, from my days working with kids at camps to the one psych class I took at the end of college, which made me want to learn so much more. With no clear path in front of me, I'm trying to explore every possibility and listen to where my gut leads me. And I tell ya, I haven't been so excited about something as I am to take this real step toward a move I have pondered quietly for years. A visit to Columbia to learn about their Developmental Psychology program is also on the books.

After that, I'm treating myself to Shake Shack. We'll see how it compares to In 'n Out. Then my first visit to the New York Public Library, which I hope will inspire some truly genius work. Ha! I'll end my "work" day with a free pilates/yoga class (thanks, Melissa!) and dinner/drinks with my new friend Eli, the soon-to-be former Executive Director of MoveOn.org, who I randomly met in L.A. with Becky right before New Year's. He's promised to show me what he deems to be cooler sections of Brooklyn than Park Slope – i.e. his neighborhood of Fort Greene. Kristen says the place he picked, No. 7, is delicious, and coming from my favorite foodie, I think that means he's off to a good start!